Little Shawnda is Growing!!

What can I say I love taking pictures of this sweet little girl. She is doing so good, and I am proud to say that we are breastfeeding!!She is still really little, but she is growing and that is all that matters. I love her so much and I love being a mom. I can't imagine my life without her, and I am so grateful that we are able to have her in our family.

My Gram

Well this week has been pretty crazy. I wrote about recently giving birth to my little Shawnda, and that was on a Wednesday. We were in the hospital till Friday and then cam home. On sunday we were at home Ki and Kate and I were sitting in the house when we got a call that my Grandma had been in a car accident in Arizona where she had been helping my aunt with her kids. APparently she was taking 4 of my cousins to church when she ran a stop sign, and got hit by a diesel truck. They did CPR on site and then air lifted her to Tuscon. One of my cousins was also air lifted and the others were taken by ambulance. They told us right away that Gram was in very critical condition. But I just kept thinking that she would pull through. But about 1 hour later she passed away. We were really upset. I am so grateful that Ki and Kate were here when we found out. I really just couldnt believe it. everyone has been in shock. So right away my sisters started trying to figure out how to get flights home. Luckily by a miracle they were able to get flights home for the next day without having to pay more. I was not sure if we were going to go. Shawnda was only 4 days old. I figured that we would wait and decide after taking her to the pediatrician. But truthfully I knew that we probably wouldnt. Her and I had really struggled with nursing. And then after all of this with my Grandma I fel like I had less milk. I was really stressed and very emotional. This whole thing was a nightmare. By Monday night I knew that my milk supply was way down and Shawnda was so hungry. I was afraid that I had lost my milk due to the stress of everything. That night we finally gave in and gave her a bottle. It was so sad cause she just gobbled it down. The next day decided everything. Shawnda only weighed 5lbs .48 oz. She had lost to much. I knew we couldnt go. SO now I am feeding her every 2 hours with formula and I am pumping every 3. I am so busy keeping up with that, but I still find my self having bouts of crying. I keep thinking of talkin to my Grandma right after I had Shawnda, and they voicemail she left me the night before she was killed. She was so close to all of us, and I will miss her so much. It is so hard not being at the funeral on Saturday. I want to be with my family, but I know that I have to just focus on Shawnda. My grandma wouldn't expect anything less. I love her so much, and she left behind a great legacy and example for all of us to follow.

Our Little Shawnda is Here!!

She is finally here. Our little girl was born on June 2, 2010. I went in on tuesday the 2nd at 6:30 that night and they inserted cervidel to soften my cervix and hopefully make me dialate. I was a 2 at that time. That night I had horrible like menstraul cramps but that were consistent like contractions. By the next morning I was a 4. They started the patosin at 7am and by 10 I was a 6 and into labor. At this time I got an epidural and they broke my water. It was hard getting the epidural because I was having hard contractions while he was trying to put in the epidural. It was pretty horrible. But anyway about 1 hour later I was a 9 and I couldnt help but push. They kept telling me not to push and wait for a doctor but I couldnt help it. I pushed for 36 minutes and she was born at 2:16 pm. In all i was in labor for 4 hours and pushed for 36 minutes. Hector was with me the whole time and was a great support. Kileigh was also there and I was so grateful for that. I was there when her first, Porter was born so it meant alot that she could be there for mine. Anyway we love our little girl and we are so proud of her. I feel great. By the next day I felt great. I was sore, but I have bounced right back. She weighed 6 lbs 11oz, and was 20.25 inches long.

Mothers

I was thinking that mothers day is here this coming weekend, and I was kind of excited because this year while I dont have my baby here yet she will be here in a matter of weeks. Finally I am able to say that I am a mother, a mommy. That is something that I have always dreamed of...Being a wife and a mother. How blessed I am. We are anxiously awaiting the arrival of this little girl, and I am so humbled by the thought of having her here.

But anyway as I was thinking about motherhood, of course I had to think of my dear sweet mother who passed away 13 years ago. I was only 17 when she died, and while I know she was not perfect, she was such a great mom. I get emotional just thinking about her, and it saddens me greatly that she is not around to see her kids and her grandkids. She would get a kick out of watching Porter, Payson, and Jaxson. She would love them to pieces. How awesome it would be to have her advice and wisdom. There are so many times when I wish I could call and talk to her, she would tell me how it was when she was pregnant and what maybe to expect. She would be buying this little cute outfits just because she couldnt resist. Of course she would be here when she was born, and I would feel so good knowing that my mom is here so everything will be all right. But in reality she is not here, and in the last 13 years I have learned to live without that. So for me when I think of a someone who feels that gap for me, who offers advice with pregnancy. being a wife, and a mother there a few ladies that pop into my head...

My sister KiLeigh...what can I say she is my best friend in the world....besides my hubby. She and I talk at least once a day. We live 2000 miles apart and still I know everything that happens in her life and she knows everything that happens in my life too. We drive our husband crazy talking all the time, but we dont care we need eachother. She is always there to hear me complain, and cry..which lately is alot. We can always talk, I dont care if we have just got off the phone hours before that...there is always something to talk about. She really is my best friend..and to be honest she was the first person to know that I was pregnant. Only because Hector was at work and I had to tell someone. And now with upcoming birth of our little girl she is making sure that she will be here for three weeks along with her little boys and my other sister Katie. I know what a sacrifice it has been to buy the tickets and get ready to come here. But she has been determined to be here for me no matter what. So Ki you are my best friend, and such a great example to me.

Another great girl in my life is my little sis Katie...she is not a mother yet, but I just love her to death. She is entertaining, and she is always there to talk to . What would I do without her...I am not sure.

There are other mothers whom I talk to on a regular basis...my cousin Janalee, she keeps me laughing. My cousin Erin, and my Aunt Trish they are just a few, and of course my Grandma and Granny. I love them all, and I so grateful for the women in my life. Happy Mothers Day everyone.

Baby Shower in New Mexico

The last weekend of February my sisters through me a baby shower there in Bluewater. I really had a time getting there. We had another snowstorm here in Delaware and so my flight was cancelled twice. Needless to say I finally got there like 30 monutes before the shower. It was so nice to see everyone, and I got some wonderful gifts. Thank you so much to all of my family and friends there that were so thoughtful.

Blizzard in Delaware

This weekend we had a huge blizzard and got about 3 feet of snow. Hector was gone so i was snowed in by myself..it was not fun. I have to say that it has really taught me alot about being prepared. We are bracing ourselves for another winter storm...more snow expected. All I can say is that I cannot wait for Hector to get home.

We are having a GIRL!!!!

So today we went for our 20 week ultrasound, and we found out that we are having a girl. I am still in shock because we both wanted a girl really bad, although a boy would have been just fine too. But anyway since we wanted a girl so bad, I just thought that for sure it was a boy. But there she was. Hector and I are so happy and excited. She looked very healthy, and strong. Anyway we just feel so blessed to have a healthy baby so far, and that all is going well.